The dynamics of every family is so different. Criticism can be taken in the way it was delivered.. Growing up in 60s and being a teen in the 70s my parents were old school. I feared the wrath of my dad if I did anything wrong, so I stayed out of trouble. But I did take them being strict as a part of their love for me. The criticism was always from the heart, and not from being cruel. They taught me to be a good and honest person, and for that I will be forever grateful. As for a show that captures my family, so many combinations of several shows, that it's hard to pinpoint just one. Thanks Ari, this was really good topic for this week. 🎼🎹🎤😊👍
Very good newsletter as always, Ari. I love that HBO TV series, The Sopranos. Yes indeed, criticism is love…I didn’t see it like that before but now I realize that criticism makes one stronger and pause for a moment😃
Love this. It’s all about the complexities of family, right? I personally didn’t get fully into The Sopranos because I am a total wimp when it comes to watching mob violence. But I definitely got the allure of the show. We get pulled in when there is something remotely relatable. And this is a family story, with its love, hate, commitment, comedy, secrecy, etc. The stuff that may or may not be so relatable (or acceptable to relate to) are the corruption, immorality, violence - and maybe that’s what offended the critics? No matter, the show is about family in all its glory and insanity, and if that touches a nerve, then WELL DONE!
A show that captures my family???? Oy, if Wonder Years cross pollinated with Six Feet Under, maybe we’d capture some of it.
Excellent interview! I agree constructive criticism is necessary to teach children how to be responsible, kind and loving adults. We were taught to live by the Golden Rule...don't remember hearing my parents ever argue in our presence either.
I can be thankful that my family was not even close to resembling the Sopranos and our criticism was usually expressed in laughter and eye rolls. The idea that criticism shows love makes me appreciate my family more. Though not a "family", we delighted in the Golden Girls spot-on depiction of some of the females in our family. I was so sure the originator of that show knew my Mother and aunts personally and profited from having seen them in action.
Saying criticism is a form of love reminds me of my parents telling me before they punished me that they wouldn't do it if they didn't love me. At the time it didn't feel very loving, but as I grew older I realized how I would have felt if they did not care and what kind of person I would have turned out to be. If my parents were still living I would call them to thank them for all the punishment (does that sound sadistic?). I honestly don't know what show reflects what growing up in my family was like, sorry can't add anything there. Stay safe stay well!😷💉🥰🦋
A show that captures my family- Succession. Lol, I'm kidding. I'm not really sure which tv family fits the description of mine. There's a handful of family tv shows I loved. Sadly I have not seen The Sopranos. At the time I was fully wrapped up in SATC. I'm just now going back to watch old HBO favorites. If criticism comes from a place of love to help someone better themselves, then I don't see it as a bad thing. Hope you're having a good weekend!
Constructive criticism with kindness at the right time and place. Accepting criticism as a sign of love is how he chose to see it, very healthy. My favorite character in the Sopranos was the therapist. The only person Tony was really vulnerable to, as much as he could be.
Ari, I love this perspective! And yes, I feel the people who wrote in might appreciate knowing their 'loving' criticism was taken to heart and processed.
Maybe in his family criticism was the currency for love. I didn’t grow up in that type of family but everyone is different. It’s good he wasn’t decimated by the criticism. Well done him
I cannot think of a show that captured my family, but I can think of a character in a movie that captured my mother: Almost Famous, where the mother was played by Frances Mcdormand. I went to see the movie in theaters with my mother, and at one point Mcdormand is on the phone with her character's son, a hot mess over what shenanigans may be occurring while he is along for a tour with the rock band Stillwater, and she says "don't do drugs!" before hanging up. My mother then turned to me in the theatre and said, "hey she's like me!" I responded "yup!" with a pronounced nod. Years later, I actually met Frances Mcdormand in person, and told her this story. "Of course," she said. "The moment a mother smells her child she doesn't stop worrying about him."
Ari I have to agree that interview felt a bit off, but I also think it was due to delays. Nothing like a face to face interview. Sadly I never saw The Sopranos. Never really watch much tv prior to the pandemic. Now I watch you nightly (or on tape) & it seems here where I live all cable has is either shows on murders, missing people & other police type shows, or lifetime christmas shows. Ugh.
The greatest gift I was given was being taught to examine your own hashkafa. This began in my adolescent years. It established a structure from which to self criticize. That was, in effect, self love and very powerful. The key was being taught even earlier, as a child, that the most thrilling thing in the world is ideas. This led eventually to truly believing that philosophy( musar) was alive and not just some abstract notion. In my old age I remind myself by making sure I read reminders, especially during The Ten Days. My current favorites are the faith of a heretic by Walter Kauffman and between man and man by Martin Buber.
Love it Ari, reminds me of my son's growing up too. My first born wrecked my car the first time he drove it by himself. It wasen't too bad though. HE BUILD CAR FRAMS NOW, HAHA.
The dynamics of every family is so different. Criticism can be taken in the way it was delivered.. Growing up in 60s and being a teen in the 70s my parents were old school. I feared the wrath of my dad if I did anything wrong, so I stayed out of trouble. But I did take them being strict as a part of their love for me. The criticism was always from the heart, and not from being cruel. They taught me to be a good and honest person, and for that I will be forever grateful. As for a show that captures my family, so many combinations of several shows, that it's hard to pinpoint just one. Thanks Ari, this was really good topic for this week. 🎼🎹🎤😊👍
I grew up with a mom who was firm, but loving. My sisters and I owe her the world.
Very good newsletter as always, Ari. I love that HBO TV series, The Sopranos. Yes indeed, criticism is love…I didn’t see it like that before but now I realize that criticism makes one stronger and pause for a moment😃
Cheers, Ari and enjoy your weekend😃
Love this. It’s all about the complexities of family, right? I personally didn’t get fully into The Sopranos because I am a total wimp when it comes to watching mob violence. But I definitely got the allure of the show. We get pulled in when there is something remotely relatable. And this is a family story, with its love, hate, commitment, comedy, secrecy, etc. The stuff that may or may not be so relatable (or acceptable to relate to) are the corruption, immorality, violence - and maybe that’s what offended the critics? No matter, the show is about family in all its glory and insanity, and if that touches a nerve, then WELL DONE!
A show that captures my family???? Oy, if Wonder Years cross pollinated with Six Feet Under, maybe we’d capture some of it.
Have a great weekend all!
Excellent interview! I agree constructive criticism is necessary to teach children how to be responsible, kind and loving adults. We were taught to live by the Golden Rule...don't remember hearing my parents ever argue in our presence either.
I can be thankful that my family was not even close to resembling the Sopranos and our criticism was usually expressed in laughter and eye rolls. The idea that criticism shows love makes me appreciate my family more. Though not a "family", we delighted in the Golden Girls spot-on depiction of some of the females in our family. I was so sure the originator of that show knew my Mother and aunts personally and profited from having seen them in action.
Appreciate you sharing that and fair point, “criticism as love” is not for everyone! :)
😂
Saying criticism is a form of love reminds me of my parents telling me before they punished me that they wouldn't do it if they didn't love me. At the time it didn't feel very loving, but as I grew older I realized how I would have felt if they did not care and what kind of person I would have turned out to be. If my parents were still living I would call them to thank them for all the punishment (does that sound sadistic?). I honestly don't know what show reflects what growing up in my family was like, sorry can't add anything there. Stay safe stay well!😷💉🥰🦋
A show that captures my family- Succession. Lol, I'm kidding. I'm not really sure which tv family fits the description of mine. There's a handful of family tv shows I loved. Sadly I have not seen The Sopranos. At the time I was fully wrapped up in SATC. I'm just now going back to watch old HBO favorites. If criticism comes from a place of love to help someone better themselves, then I don't see it as a bad thing. Hope you're having a good weekend!
Constructive criticism with kindness at the right time and place. Accepting criticism as a sign of love is how he chose to see it, very healthy. My favorite character in the Sopranos was the therapist. The only person Tony was really vulnerable to, as much as he could be.
Interesting perspectives here. TY.
Ari, I love this perspective! And yes, I feel the people who wrote in might appreciate knowing their 'loving' criticism was taken to heart and processed.
Like the saying goes… what people say & do, say more about them then you. Enjoy your weekend Ari!
You too!
Great newsletter.
What can I say here....
Some criticism is love.
Healthy relations are needed before one begins offering criticism.
I generally don’t feel love when criticized if no relationship has been established between me and the critic.
I’m like, who are you?
And, most often, I feel like...
who asked you, if I’m honest. 😂
Maybe in his family criticism was the currency for love. I didn’t grow up in that type of family but everyone is different. It’s good he wasn’t decimated by the criticism. Well done him
I cannot think of a show that captured my family, but I can think of a character in a movie that captured my mother: Almost Famous, where the mother was played by Frances Mcdormand. I went to see the movie in theaters with my mother, and at one point Mcdormand is on the phone with her character's son, a hot mess over what shenanigans may be occurring while he is along for a tour with the rock band Stillwater, and she says "don't do drugs!" before hanging up. My mother then turned to me in the theatre and said, "hey she's like me!" I responded "yup!" with a pronounced nod. Years later, I actually met Frances Mcdormand in person, and told her this story. "Of course," she said. "The moment a mother smells her child she doesn't stop worrying about him."
What an awesome memory. No matter how old our children are, they will be our babies for life.
Ari I have to agree that interview felt a bit off, but I also think it was due to delays. Nothing like a face to face interview. Sadly I never saw The Sopranos. Never really watch much tv prior to the pandemic. Now I watch you nightly (or on tape) & it seems here where I live all cable has is either shows on murders, missing people & other police type shows, or lifetime christmas shows. Ugh.
The greatest gift I was given was being taught to examine your own hashkafa. This began in my adolescent years. It established a structure from which to self criticize. That was, in effect, self love and very powerful. The key was being taught even earlier, as a child, that the most thrilling thing in the world is ideas. This led eventually to truly believing that philosophy( musar) was alive and not just some abstract notion. In my old age I remind myself by making sure I read reminders, especially during The Ten Days. My current favorites are the faith of a heretic by Walter Kauffman and between man and man by Martin Buber.
Love it Ari, reminds me of my son's growing up too. My first born wrecked my car the first time he drove it by himself. It wasen't too bad though. HE BUILD CAR FRAMS NOW, HAHA.